The 21st Century

Snow!

For the first time this winter they predicted snow. It started snowing Thursday afternoon when we drove to dinner. We heard that the schools were closed that day and the next day. Not familiar with frequent snow, people here do not know how to drive (extra carefully) and are afraid of icy roads. A large snowplow stood at the ready, waiting for things to come when we drove down for dinner. After dinner, we found a good inch of snow on the car, which slowly melted off in the garage that night. The road and side walks were still clear. I have one appointment early tomorrow morning, which I will cancel if they are open, which I doubt. It was supposed to stop snowing at 1:30 a.m., and it did. Right at 1:45 a.m. Lani started barking and when I got up I heard the scraping sound of a snow shovel nearby – in the distance that of the snow plow. Planning not to go to breakfast at the Club, we got up a little later than usual and at that time someone was throwing rock salt on roads and sidewalks, even up to our front door and garage door. An hour later I could walk Lani in my snow boots on clear walkways and she had fun dashing in the snow.

Spinal Surgeon

At an early visit with the spinal surgeon, she decided that, after an injection in the SI joint, which had not helped, she would give me another guided injection, in 2 places left and two on the right of the lower spine. The lower back pain which I have been taking PT for since late October is apparently caused by age-related mild arthritis here and there which caused a slight spinal stenosis.  Actually, I’ve had that since we lived in Prescott, Arizona and for six years I had no problem with it. The constant sudden pulling of the dog renewed the problem. The proposed injection(s) will eliminate the pain, even though it won’t cure the arthritis. Well, it could be worse. Moderate arthritis in my lower spine? Nothing to complain about. I can still walk, dance and exercise.

After my appointment, under darkening skies, I drove to Trader Joe’s and purchased a large bush of forsythias, to get some spring color in the house. And when I saw that they had the first daffodils on sale, I could not resist getting a few bunches of those as well. Then I stopped at the alteration store and dropped off a dress to be shortened. I used to do those things myself, because I love sewing and I still have my old Singer, but at this time in my life I want to do other things (which is another way of saying I am too busy!). Back home, I found two vases, filled them with daffodils and took them to some friends who can’t  just hop in the car and go to the store to buy flowers like I can. It takes so little time and effort to bring some sunshine in other people’s lives. And I love doing that.

It’s a Wonderful Life!

Until next time,

Ronny

Valentine’s Day

 On Valentine’s Day, last Friday morning, they organized a party in the Dining Room for the renewing of our vows. We were welcomed with red carnation boutonnières, the ladies’ tied with a white ribbon. A crew from spectrum TV was setting up cameras and asked us if we wanted to be interviewed. They wanted two couples but one had cancelled at the last minute, and we ended up being the only one, because our interview lasted more than ten minutes. It was fun, and they told us afterwards that our interview would show on the five o’clock news. Because that was during our dinner time, we asked someone to tape it for us. On Sunday after brunch we went up to their apartment to watch it. Well, all that was left of the long interview were a few clips. But that day and the morning thereafter many people commented that they had seen us on TV. The couple with the most anniversaries, 69, received a red rose. We have just celebrated our 59th, but then we are ten years younger, so we have a way to go. One couple has 71 years to look back on, but they were not present, because the husband is in Memory Care.

A fundraiser for the Chef, a member of a charitable organization that was having a cooking competition, was another “red” event. We could send a red rose, a box of chocolates or a handwritten note to anyone for $2 each, or $5 for all three. That was really fun. We ordered gifts of all three to be delivered to many of our friends with the note saying  Sent with love by a secret admirer. It was fun to plan these surprises. The only thing was that we could never find out what the reaction was of the recipients, because it was all secret. I had sent a set of three to Mike, who kept guessing from whom it came, but he guessed wrong. I received a set of three from one of our friends, but that had a signed note from her.

Basketball

On Saturday, we went to see our youngest grandson in action during the final basketball game of the season. This kid is tall in comparison, and he can run extremely fast. He scored four times out of fourteen, and it was fun to watch him. Because bleachers are not senior friendly, Dennis had brought two comfortable stadium chairs for us. We drove home in the midday sun. It has been a very unusual summer, to say the least. A few days of temperatures around 30 degrees and nights down to 24, but then days as high again as 70 with nights of 54 to 60. With sometimes hard winds it is cold enough for our liking, and we are looking forward to spring and summer.

Voting time

We were used to voting by mail when we lived in Arizona, so we requested absentee ballots again here. Although, with the big mess in the White House, the political fights and the enormous amounts of money being spent on the elections, you would sometimes be inclined to throw in the towel and do nothing.

We are thankful for our lovely cottage, the beautiful surroundings, the freedom to participate in activities or stay home, and the feeling that we are in a safe place, whatever happens.

It’s a wonderful Life!

Until next time,

Ronny

Tornado!

On Thursday morning we received a warning about an impending tornado in our county. An hour later came the message from a family member, a pilot, to “hunker down, guys, this is going to be serious.” Schools were closed at noon, and remained closed the next day. Two gardeners walked down on the grassy slope behind our cottage to blow away leaves and needles and, with a net on a stick, clean out the drains coming from the property to drain into the large pit next to the house and the small pond at the very bottom. Minutes later, we saw them running back to their car, as torrential rains pelted down on them. Fierce winds blew rain against the windows. At the bottom of the lawn and into the Divide a new, four feet wide stream of water came gushing down towards the small pond. The little stream that flows from there to the large pond in Wimbledon exceeded its banks as far as I could see from the bedroom window and I can’t wait to go down there when the ground has dried a little and investigate my trail. That night, the rain subsided a bit and when I walked Lani in hurricane force winds, we almost stepped on a small frog. A new living creature to Lani, she did not suddenly pull to get it, as she would have done before, thanks to the new collar!

Fashion Show

On Friday afternoon they announced a “wear red” fashion show at 2:00 p.m. in the dining room. Other than “wear red in honor of the victims of heart disease” not much information was forthcoming. When I arrived, I saw more than I expected. It ended up to be a real party. Tables set out with linen tablecloths, little plates with red napkins, pink mimosas. The chef at the head of the room had outdone himself on fancy appetizers (come and get it) and those who did not have anything red to wear got a red feather-boa. People from Assisted Living were already seated and others found a table in expectation of things to come. The music was lively and so were conversations.

Remembering the fun fashion shows in California I had showed in, I printed a one page document for the announcer to read, telling the audience what I was wearing. I fancied it up a bit, to make it more interesting. Just for fun, I will print it here:

Ronny is wearing a black sweater with a textured front, which she acquired in a boutique when she visited her mother in the Netherlands.
The white “thousand shells” lei comes from the Big Island of Hawaii, where Ronny and her husband resided for twelve years. In those days Ronny used this lei frequently when dancing hula.
At that point I was inspired to stand still, bend my knees and do a few hip motions indicating “around the island”. I had not planned that, but the audience roared 🙂
Ronny’s red, tiered skirt was manufactured by her friend Anna Konya, (annakonyadesigns.com), a special designer in California. Look closely and you will see some tiers in a Hawaiian design, like she does in every skirt she creates.
The red handbag is an original Gianni Bini, a designer who was born in New York from Italian Parents.
Ronny’s black leather boots are from the popular Born Footwear Collection.
And…because she always likes to be prepared, she is carrying her red travel umbrella, just in case of an unexpected shower.
(At that point I stood still, opened my little red umbrella, put it on my right shoulder and walked on. The audience cheered and laughed and clapped!)

The runway with the red carpet was very short, about 150 feet. As I would do in a professional show, I walked to the end, turning to the left and right to show my outfit, twirled twice, to show my wide, tiered red skirt, then back and forth again, at the beginning turned around and walked back the same way. What fun!

Other people were encouraged to walk on the runway, but of course they did just that, walk to the end of the runway, cheered on by the crowd. The new Executive Director walked, and a few employees as well. At the end everyone started dancing. An hour later we enjoyed the Friday Happy Hour and dinner.

It’s a Wonderful Life!

Until next time,

Ronny

A new Boss!

We have a new Executive General Manager effective January 31! He seems like a nice guy with  plenty of experience in the field and is planning to stay. He is making an effort to meet people and he remembers names! Everyone is happy about that. The first thing he has on his program is the remodeling of the main building. It is ten years old and a lot of things need change and replacement. They will be starting in two weeks at the fourth floor and gradually come down to the first. Only the main living areas are getting a makeover, not the individual apartments, nor the cottages. But it will be great to get a new color scheme throughout.

Yesterday they were throwing a party with “cocktails and hors-d’oeuvres” at 3:00 p.m. to officially introduce the new Manager. When we got there, chairs were being set up in the Café and a man started to play music and handing out brochures. Then someone said: “The party is in the Players Room across the hall”. Carts with appetizers were wheeled in there, and they were pouring glasses of sparkling grape juice. “Real wine is served across the hall in the Café.” Oh? We walked across again to get wine, then back to the Players Room for appetizers. In the mean time people sat down in the Café and started singing and clapping to the music. The man handed out little flyers that spelled out: “You may have only five hours to live. And if you die, what then? Where will you go? If you want to go to heaven etc…..” A lot of small print and an address and phone number to contact “if you want to go to heaven.” The music was so loud that some people left and the Boss had to signal to the singer to tone it down and fifteen minutes before the time he signaled to wrap it up. Many people were upset and wondered why this guy had been hired without first checking what kind of music he played. Imagine someone, in a place like this, to talk and sing about the last five hours of your life! Sign here or else…Two events mis-scheduled at the same time, one of which was totally unheard of and it messed up the introduction of the new Manager. He borrowed the microphone from the performer and introduced himself.

Flower woes

While this “Party” was going on, I noticed that the maintenance man with a helper picked up the large flower arrangement from the center table, walked out with it to the balcony on the rear  deck and poured out all the water. What!? When they came back through the people gathered in the hall I called after him: “Hey John! What are you going to do with those flowers?”
“The Boss says to dump them because the roses are dead.”
“No way! Many of the other flowers are still good. Where are you going with it?”
“To the second floor Trash room.”
“All right. Do not dump them but leave them on the floor. After the party I will come and take the good flowers out.”

I was really upset. And I am not easily so disturbed. The large basket came from the Mass in memory of one of our residents who had passed away ten days before. I had asked the person at the Front Desk to make sure someone, anyone, would keep checking the water in the basket. Well, two days later the water was all gone. So I got a watering can from the flower room downstairs and filled the reservoir to the top. It held pretty well. A few of the rosebuds started drying out, but it was still beautiful. And now this.

I selected an armful of still good looking flowers from the basket in the trash room, one of the other residents brought four vases, and I made four lovely bouquets. Meanwhile the girl at the front desk gave me a list of the people who had come back from the hospital recently. One resident took one bouquet to one of those, I took two bouquets to two people in Assisted Living and a small one to the office of the Boss. Four people were surprised by a bouquet of flowers and the memory of our friend lasted perhaps another week.

Collar magic

I started walking with Lani on her new collar on Monday, January 27. A week later, after another PT session on the 30th, I have had four days without any pain at all and I cancelled my future PT sessions. What joy! They called me and asked if I could come in one more time for assessment and give me exercises to keep doing in the future, in order not to get a relapse, and I guess that is a wise thing to do, so I will go back one more time. To give Lani some excitement we took her to Camp Bow Wow again today and she can’t wait to get out of the car and into the door. Then she comes back exhausted after six hours; that dog play is really what she is missing with us and she loves it.

The weather has been really nice: today we had 70 degrees and sun! And it is still light when we walk home from the Club after dinner.

It’s a Wonderful Life!

Until next time,

Ronny

Cleaning up the house

One of my New Year’s Resolutions proves to be not that easy. When I started in my office one morning, I came across several things that did not belong where I found them. So I had to take them somewhere else, but where? There were the calendars of two previous years with gorgeous pictures of the granddaughters. Surely, I could not throw those away! I selected three of the best pictures, put two of them in frames that I had and hung them in the gallery in the garage. The third one needed a large frame. So I got on the Mac and ordered it from Amazon Prime: it arrived the next day. The frames are simple, load-from-the-front, and they are ready to hang. So I did. But in the mean time it was the following day and I had only thrown away two calendars out of one of my drawers! Do things like this happen to you too?

Then there was the large roll of address labels I had ordered before Christmas. I put part of it in the empty container on Mike’s desk and put the rest on my office desk, where it now waits for further transport into a drawer that I first have to organize. I took care of several business phone calls this morning, but that took all morning, then I had to make lunch and before I knew it I had to go to PT for my hip, and after that walk the dog. When she did her production I found out I didn’t have a baggy in my pocket; only a Kleenex. I had the choice of going back to the spot later to pick it up, with the chance it would be raining and the certainty we would be late for happy hour, or use the Kleenex. I chose the latter and was happy to go home, throw it all into the toilet and wash my hands with warm water and soap. I grinned as my thoughts went back 74 years to the WWII camp, where Mamma wrote that even the outside latrines overflowed and she and her roommate had to clean up the filth and did not even have soap to wash their hands. (Have you read my book Rising from the Shadow of the Sun? You should!) How blessed I am to have warm water and soap!

We were on time for Happy hour at the Club, but they ran out of red wine after a half hour, so nobody even had any red wine with dinner either. At the end of the day I had not contributed to noticeable cleanup of our house at all! And so it goes. Life continues, I am happy to be alive and able to enjoy it all, with the understanding that I still have eleven months to finish my resolution.  However, I realize that I need to stick to doing one thing at a time and finish it.

On another morning I cleaned up a big part of the garage with leftovers of Christmas. Not edible leftovers, but things like bags and rolls of  ribbons and boxes with decorations. I finished that.

Dog tails

On Monday I made a decision: I ordered a prong collar for Lani. I can’t go on with physical therapy three times a week that gets undone immediately when I walk my pulling dog, however little she is. Twenty pound jolts will keep my hip, back and shoulder in continuing pain and I had had enough. First we had a regular leash and collar; she pulled. Then we bought her a “non-pull” harness; she still pulled. Then we put two leashes on the harness – no result. She got her “Good Citizen” diploma from the AKC and walked on a loose leash, but only inside the building where she had been trained and only for three minutes. The last thing we tried was a “Buddy Leash”, where one leash goes around my waist and another from there to her collar. The sudden jolts were even more painful, and once she almost pulled my whole body off the sidewalk. Enough. The prong collar was recommended by two friends here and Amazon delivered it in one day. I did watch two videos on how to use it, as they recommended, because the collar looked like a torture collar, and that for our sweet little Lani. I got her used to it inside yesterday, and took her for her afternoon walk today. Hooray! Success! She walked with me at my pace, the leash was long enough so she could get into the grass, and she did not pull and the prongs did not seem to hurt. On two occasions she darted out at another dog, but yelped and I did not feel a pull. Then she wanted to pick up something from the grass and dove, but the prongs stopped her. She kept looking at me, and I kept praising her.

And guess what? We could walk to the Club tonight, and my back is feeling great, and I am so happy. Hopefully we can finish PT soon, I will have more free time and we can walk again in Wimbledon and the other trails in the neighborhood. Ahh! Life is good again.

Thought for the day:

Get up with determination
Go to bed with Satisfaction

It’s a Wonderful Life!

Until next time,

Ronny

Reflections

Since the beginning of the New Year we have lost three friends here in Waltonwood. Considering the ages and ailments of the residents that is not amazing. There is a Privacy code so that some people just disappear, and we don’t know whether they went next door, to Assisted Living or Memory Care, moved away to be with family, or passed away. Perhaps I wrote about that before. For many, that is disappointing. It leaves voids, even though most of the time you have not been really closely connected.

On the other hand, some families want to honor the memory of their parents, and they do that in a variety of ways. Once, a Memorial Service was held in the Theatre downstairs, with someone playing the guitar. Just recently, one family put a beautiful flower arrangement next to a picture of the deceased with his or her husband. Today, a family arranged for a Memorial Service in the Garden Room. A lovely, small room full of potted plants and a view of the garden provides seating for about twenty-five people plus an overflow of walkers and wheel chairs into the hall. Afterwards, people could talk to the family members and enjoy a small reception. It was a lovely memorial for a good friend. They handed out a wonderful poem that I want to quote below.

Sometimes…
Usually when we think we have it all under control
certain events happen
with such swiftness and such intensity
that they point our lives in a direction
that they were never meant to go.

They leave scars that can never be erased.

Those around us may try to help
but ultimately
they feel helpless in their inability to undo
what can never be undone.
No one can change these events.
We can’t pretend they never happened.

For those of us who have gone through experiences
that may have altered our destinies in one way or another
the only sane option we have is
to fill up our lives
with enough kindness, enough trust and enough friends
so that the painful memories are diffused,
dimmed by the knowledge that the right people
are always thee when you need them.

And those people, the ones who really listen
should forever be cherished and protected
because they are the ones who help us heal.

Food for thought…

It’s a Wonderful Life!

Until next time,

Ronny

The Celebrations continue!

We celebrated our 59th wedding anniversary, on January 10, with the family in the course of two days; with a delicious dinner at a new Mexican restaurant the night before, when everybody could make it, and with phone calls, cards, a special delivery of two bottles of my favorite champagne and a lovely flower arrangement. On Sunday, we invited the family for brunch and celebrated our youngest grandson’s tenth birthday, a milestone for him.

I prepared for another presentation on Monday, this time on a small scale, for a bible study group at the Methodist church close by, where I had spoken for the Men’s breakfast group more than a year ago. By small scale I mean not in a large auditorium with a large screen and a projector, but in a smaller room with a TV. The same tech that helped me the first time was there again to set me up with the TV. He had the cords, I had the adapter, and everything worked, including the sound. These days, I have learned to do the slide presentation including the trailer, straight from my iPad, which is easy to take in my little attaché case, together with Mamma’s journal and some handouts.

My presentations vary, based on the audience and the time I get to speak. In December, I spoke for 30 minutes for the largest Cary Rotary, and the presentation, I felt, was sort of businesslike, just perfect, one of the best I had done. This time, when I stopped – at the end of WWII – after thirty minutes, but said I could show more of the years after the war, they all asked me to please continue, and I did, for about another half hour, then answered many questions. That is always a joy, because it means that the audience was genuinely interested and had listened closely enough that they were questioning some things.

So this time, my presentation was more personal, and there was time to tell the stories of the wedding bible and the little boy who died on his way to the Netherlands after surviving the whole long war as a toddler.

Afterwards, two pieces of chocolate cake came back home with me and, since I could not resist the temptation and ate them half an hour before dinnertime, I ended up taking a nap and have dinner at home instead. That meant soup and crackers, because I don’t cook anymore, but Mike is always happy with whatever I serve, and always cares about my wishes. What a jewel he is!

It’s a Wonderful Life!

Until next time,

Ronny

January 2020

A fantastic jazz band with a wonderful singer filled part of our New Years’ Eve after dinner. It was a lively event, with wine and a champagne toast from the Café. The fact that the band had only been hired for one hour, from 7 – 8 p.m., due to budgetary restraints, was disappointing to many. However, the band members came and set up early and started – free of charge – at 6:30 p.m.

The first week of the new year continued with PT sessions for my left shoulder three times a week, until my right hip became so painful (SI joint or spinal stenosis, whatever) that when I got a PT prescription for my hip the therapist decided with me that I should continue with home exercises for the shoulder and start work on the hip immediately. So far, I had good results, so I am happy.

At the same time, I bought a Buddy Leash for Lani; the adjustable belt wraps around my waist and an adjustable leash, coming from my waist belt attaches to Lani’s harness. I have used it for two days and I think I will finally get her to stop pulling. She will figure out that it is much more difficult to pull my body than pull my arm out of the socket. With all these measures I hope to be completely well again by March, because guess what I got for Christmas? A new yoga mat! A 10 mm thick one to protect my fragile bones :-). My previous mat was 4 mm and I never got to buying myself a newer, 5 mm one. But now, I found a 10 mm blue mat with carrying strap under the Christmas tree!

What will happen in March? I signed up for an all-day Yoga retreat with OLLI (Osher Lifelong Learning Institute) at NCSU and I am so looking forward to it! I started taking Yoga classes back in Hilo after I watched someone do a Warrior Pose on the beach. How beautiful that was. And what a perfect spot to do yoga. No mat needed; solitude, quiet, with only the sounds of the ocean in the background. (I am talking about a little black sand beach in Hilo, not one in Waikiki!) I continued Yoga classes in Arizona, when they were offered, and also Pilates. I loved Pilates almost more than Yoga. These days I saw that a combination of Yoga and Pilates is offered at the Cary Senior Citizen Center. It is called Piloga. Piloga is the combination of Pilates and yoga designed to build strength and tone your muscles while improving flexibility and fostering mind and body harmony. Classes tend to start off with Pilates exercises, then move to yoga positions, and then finish with more Pilates movements. Now that would be a class after my own heart, and perhaps it will be in my future. But first comes the Yoga retreat in March.

It’s a Wonderful Life!

Until next time,

Ronny

New Year’s Resolutions

Do you have any? What are they? Did you have any in previous years? Did you succeed in meeting your goals? Often? Sometimes? Never? I have always set goals at the beginning of each new year. But to tell you the truth, I forgot whether I reached my goals – I had so many! This year, I have only two. One of them is to organize the house – clean up closets, desks, and the garage. The second one is to lose a few pounds because we are looking forward to a beach reunion with all fifteen members of our family; four families, that is. Now, my weight has not changed since we came here, I just want to lose a few more pounds than I weighed before. I will be happy with a loss of five by the end of May. That is an easy goal, don’t you think? Will you join me in this? Clean up your house and lose one pound per month until summer? Let’s do it!

It’s a Wonderful Life!

Until next time,

Ronny

Christmas 2019

At the end of every year, thinking back to Christmases past, we take the time to reconnect with people that were important to us. Long-time friends, former neighbors, relatives, for a few weeks we write cards, write an annual newsletter, send e-cards or make phone calls. We look forward to getting mail or email back. At our age, especially if we have not heard from them for a year, it reassures us that friends are still alive. Pictures cards show us that friends have aged (but somehow still look the same), their families have grown to proudly show children and grandchildren.

Christmas is also a time to give gifts and enjoy receiving them. Last Sunday, my Goddaughter and her two girls came to visit us. She was born in the Netherlands, where we lived at the time, and she lived just down the street from us with her parents and older sister. I was honored to hold the little baby at her christening. It was during the start of the nineteen seventies, the time of short skirts, hot pants and wigs. I had all of those. I remember what I was wearing: a light green, short sleeved knit dress I had made from beautiful material produced by Mike’s knitting mill. I asked the baby’s parents, our friends, “Would you like me to wear my wig or not?” They said, “That is up to you, either way will be nice.” And so I wore my beautiful, shoulder-length wig.

Today, many years later, my Goddaughter and I ended up living not too far from each other in North Carolina. She brought me a book for my birthday. It’s a book I will never read: Familiar Quotations by John Bartlett. The treasure is in what she did with it: an incredibly beautiful, detailed work of art, a Christmas Castle. My picture does not do it justice. But you can get an impression of the artistic creation she made for me, the love and time she spent on it: an unequalled treasure.

The day after Christmas, December 26, is my birthday! This year, a day after Christmas, I celebrated my 81st. I am so blessed to be 81 and healthy! We celebrated at our son’s home, where our daughter-in-law cooked a special Indonesian meal for me, including Krupuk, which she fried on the BBQ in the driveway. For dessert my friend in Tucson had sent me a spekkoek, a real Indo dessert. And, because I love desserts, and I was not sure my grandchildren would like a strange dessert like spekkoek, I made one chocolate pecan pie and one lemon pecan pie, which turned out picture-perfect and delicious! It was the first time in two and a half year that I baked something, for which I had to buy butter and eggs and lemon juice and pecans and chocolate chips! It was fun!

One of my grandsons told me that being born in Surabaya on December 26 at 7:30 a.m., meant that here in North Carolina that was 7:30 p.m. on Christmas Day! Oh! How special is that? To be a United States Citizen who was born on Christmas day in 1938! I am truly blessed.

My dear friends,                  HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!

                                                      MAY YOU HAVE A HAPPY, HEALTHY NEW YEAR!

It’s a Wonderful Life!

Until next time,

Ronny